Van Halen

It's always there, lurking in the background. Deep in the shadows there is a shape. Very faint but the outline is there. I can almost feel the distant pulse it emits. I call to it but get no response. Then, out of nothing a glimmer of movement. Slowly the shape turns to reveal empty eyes. They are far off and distant. The shape is receding. A memory is leaving.

This is how my mind feels trying to remember my past. The only thing I seem to have is right here and now. I am able to laser focus and pinpoint specific events in my mind. I cannot however, recall 99% of the music I listened to. Music was my life. I was a walking, talking, and annoying rock n roll trivia machine. My whole life I knew every song that came on the radio. I knew the bands, I knew the band members. I knew if the song was rock or pop and if the rhythms were intricate or pounding. I knew when to turn it up. Kitty always wanted to take me to a Vegas rock trivia night. I guess that would made me a rock n roll Rain Man. This is merely an autistic joke. No offense intended. I can't recall most of it. These days there are three or four bands I remember and half a dozen songs I listen to. I don't recall much more from that life. The black shape I've been seeing out of the corner of my eye is a shadow people. A memory fading. Far off and distant. The shape is receding. Another memory gone.

Here's another laser focus exercise. It was a marching band trip. Three buses full. High school. Our bus had an 8 track player. I was on the bus early. I intended it this way. I was first in line to put my tape in that player. It was party time. Time to get pumped for our gig. All the other kids got on the bus and heard Van Halen's 'Eruption' and 'Running With The Devil' with the volume knob turned up to 11. It was awesome. It was brand new and cool. This was the newest super group. They rocked. One of the girls asked me to please change the music.